Macbeth Retold: MacBeiber
by not-you-15
Summary: MAJOR NERDINESS AHEAD!  In my grade 10 English class, we had to write a modern retelling of Macbeth. My frineds Kristen, Kerry worked with me. This is the result.  Note: this was made to be stupid. Nobody hate me for making fun of Macbeth, as I love it.


**Hello everyone! **

**So, my friends and I wrote this over the course of two weeks for English class last year. The reason it's in script format is because it's... well, a script. The assignment was to rewrite and film a reinterpretation of Macbeth. Since we are all major nerds, we made ours on all of our favorite, nerdy things. We made Macbeth Justin Beiber, because we coldn't think of a nerdy character who we disliked enough to kill. It's not that we hate Justin Beiber... we just don't really like him much either. Also, the part that mentions Jupiter is talking about the chorale from Jupiter, by Gustav Holst. Youtube it, it really helps with the scene. We like it alot. It reminds us of Ron Weasley, for no paricular reason...**

**So, with that said, please note that this was written to be humorous, don't hate on me because I actually LOVE Macbeth, sorry for any spelling/grammer errors, and please sit back and enjoy MacBeiber!**

**MacBeiber: A Reinterpretation of Macbeth**

By: Kristen Horton, Julie Mewhinney and Kerry Norman

Cast of Characters

Macbeth- Justin Beiber (JB)

Lady Macbeth- A crazed fan girl (FG)

Banquo- Batman (B)

Fleance- Robin (R)

King Duncan- Dumbledore (D)

Malcolm- Jeff Skinner (JS)

Macduff- Chuck Norris (CN)

Witches- Simon Cowell (SC)

Murderers- The Joker (J)

Other Thanes- Awesome people from Justice League, Harry Potter and the NHL (OT)

A bouncer guy (BG)

A random hockey player(RHP)

A coach (C)

A murder victim

Scene One: The Misunderstanding

_(Justin Beiber standing on the corner playing the guitar and singing a song (probably "Baby"). Simon Cowell walks by. On the phone_) That is amazing! You are destined for greatness. You will rise a level that very few have accomplished. _(Exits)_

**JB: **I always knew that someday I would be awesome_(stares off into the distance) _Though I wonder why he was clutching at his ear, almost as if holding a cell phone… But no. Those prophetic words were meant for me alone!

_Enter Batman and Robin_

**B: **Hey you! Have you seen the Joker? He has escaped Arkham and is terrorizing the city!

**JB:** Guess what Mr. Batman sir!

**B:** Sigh… What?

**JB: **I'm destined for greatness! Isn't it exciting?

**R: **… What a noob

Scene Two: The Fundraiser

_Fundraiser taking place at Hogwarts. Justin Beiber is waiting to be let in._

**BG: **I don't think you belong on this list

**JB:** Is my name on there?

**BG:** Yes… But…

**JB:** Then let me in.

_Fan girl walks by, sees Justin. Takes off sweater to reveal Justin Beiber shirt_

**FG: **(squealing) OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! JUSTIN BEIBER! J (to bouncer guy) I'm with him.

**D: **_Improv speech about the fundraiser_

**JB: **I wish that I could be as awesome as him…

**FG: **You could if you killed him…

**JB: **I don't think that's a good idea…

**FG: **Yes! Do it Justin! Then the whole world will see you as the amazing person I know you to be! (sobs)

**JB: **(freaked out) Okay, okay!

Scene Three: The Day After

_Chuck Norris has found the body. Enter Batman and Robin at his call_

**B: **What's happening?

**CN: **Dumbledore is dead

**R: **Holy mashed potatoes, Batman!

**B:** What does that have to do with anything?

**R:** I don't know… Its sounds cool though.

**JB: **Oh my goodness! I cant believe that Dumbledore is dead!

**CN: **How did you know that? The body has been removed and we haven't told anyone else yet!

**JB: **Oh… I umm, I heard it while outside the door… straightening my hair, and stuff

**B: **_(aside) _Something isn't right here… _(to Robin) _To the Batmobile!

_Batman, Robin and Chuck exit_

**JB: **I think Batman might suspect me. We'll have to do something about that… But what?

_(Enter Joker, stabbing somebody. They are perhaps screaming)_

**JB: **_(looking at a comic book) _Where can I find him?

_(Looks over and sees Joker brutally murdering someone)_

**JB: **Hey you! With the knife!

_(Joker looks at him. Creepy smile and cocked head)_

**JB: **You fight Batman, don't you? You want a chance to kill him?

_(Joker keeps smiling, slowly nods head)_

**JB: **Okay, I'll give you your instructions later because you're kinda freaking me out…

Scene Four: The Murder of Batman

_Batman and Robin, sitting on a patio drinking hot chocolate_

**R: **Holy bathermal underwear, Batman!

**B: **We are drinking hot chocolate, we don't even need thermal underwear.

**R: **… Its sounds cool, okay?

_(Joker dramatically jumps on screen)_

**J: **Why… So… Serious?

**B: **The Joker! Batarangs away!

**R: **I thought it was my job to say the corny yet amazing lines. L

**B: **(Intense voice) You're right Robin. I'm sorry.

_(They both stare off epically into the distance for no reason)_

**J: **Yo! Earth to Batfreaks! I have a tip and an offer for you

**B: **A tip?

**R: **From Joker?

**B: **Is this

**R:** For real?

**J:** Okay… So.. There is a new super villain running around downtown Gotham. He is called Riot Act, and he was inspired by me. I have come to propose a truce to you because there is only enough room for ONE white faced, maniac super villain in this town!

_(Sticks out hand. Batman examines it closely, then reaches out hesitantly to shake. Robin sees faint glimmer of a hand buzzer on Jokers hand.)_

**R: **Batman! No! He's got a-

_(Batman is electrocuted. Dies)_

**R: **-hand buzzer.

_(Joker turns to Robin, maniac smile on his face)_

**R: **I think I had better run, before the Joker gets me too…

_(Exits, doing an epic back flip)_

Scene Five: The Conversation

_(Changing room. Jeff Skinner and another hockey player are lacing up their skates)_

**JS:** Have you heard? The joker killed Batman.

**RHP: **Why would he do that? Without Batman, he has no purpose in life! _(epically stares into the distance)_

**JS: **That's why its so mysterious. Dumbledore was also killed this week.

**RHP: **Two of our most awesome gone in one week. What is the world coming to? _(sobs)_

**JS: **It all seems very suspicious. I suspect Justin… _(epically stares into the distance)_

**RHP: **Why…?

**C: **Game time boys!

**JS: **I'll tell you later.

Scene Six: The Insult

_(Random location. Justin trying to look awesome, but failing)_

**JB: **I feel so awesome right now!

_(Fangirl enters) _**FG: **Ohh Justin…

**JB: **Leave me alone. I'm basking in my awesomeness… SHOO!

**FG: **He doesn't love me anymore! _(bursts into tears, hits a radio, Jupiter comes on)_

**FG: **Oh the awesomeness! It hurts my ears! _(dies)_

**JB: **I feel so amazing, not even Chuck Norris could stop me! I killed the greatest headmaster Hogwarts has ever seen, and arranged the murder of the worlds greatest detective! _(lame evil laughter)_

_(As Justin delivers the previous line, Chuck Norris walks on screen. He hears what Justin is saying, stops, listens, eyes widening slowly in disbelief)_

**CN: **Do my ears deceive me? I believe I just heard that horrible excuse for a musician confess to the murder of the greatest wizard of the 20th century and the dark knight! _(as an afterthought) _I think he may also have insulted my ability to roundhouse kick… I must find Jeff Skinner!

Scene Seven: Prepare for Battle

_(Chuck runs on screen, breathing hard)_

**JS: **Chuck Norris! What's wrong?

**CN: **I… I found… found out who did it Jeff…

**JS: **Who did what?

**CN: **Who kill… killed them… Jeff, it was Justin Beiber.

**JS: **My suspicions were correct!_(epically stares into the distance)_

**CN: **Could we save the epic staring for later? This is an emergency!

**JS: **Of course… Sorry… TO BATTLE!

_(Thanes run across the screen, holding "weapons" of war)_

Scene Eight: The Battle

_(Quick clip of battle. Chuck runs off to confront Justin)_

**CN: **Little girl, have you seen the one they call… Justin Beiber?

**JB: **I'm not a girl! Why does everyone keep saying that?

**CN: **Oh… Sorry. Anyways, I'm her here to kill you for the crimes you've committed in an attempt to become awesome. Just thought you should know.

**JB: **Why you? I didn't even commit a crime against you! What have you got against me?

**CN: **You insulted my ability to roundhouse kick. Until it has been proven again I will not be able to sleep. I have decided it must be proven on you. Let the fight… BEGIN!

_(Battle scene. Slo-mo, perhaps? Chuck starts his kick. Justin goes to block it, but sneezes and turns his head allowing the kick to hit its intended target. Dies. Chuck stands over the body in a triumphant pose.)_

Scene Nine: The Aftermath

_(Enter Thanes and Jeff Skinner)_

**JS: **What happened here?

**CN: **I killed him.

**JS: **I see. Well… I guess this is over then. Hogwarts asked me to take over the role of headmaster, but I refused and gave the role to Robin, who seems better qualified for the job. And after all, the NHL needs me!_(epically stares into the distance, while striking an epic pose. Others walk forward and form a line, copying him.)_

**The End**


End file.
